Do you have really strong emotions and bodily reactions that sometimes feel like they come of nowhere and can really knock you over? Your reactions can feel familiar, old, confusing, and overwhelming. You wonder if it has something to do with your past — maybe relating to a traumatic event or a disturbing memory.

You have heard the word “trauma” being tossed around and have begun to wonder if it is something that applies to you. There are some difficult things in your life or your past, but you don’t know if they can really have that much impact on you, now.

As a trauma therapist in Asheville, I believe that it is essential to describe what trauma is, because most people with trauma think that they are crazy, flawed, or worse - that they deserved the awful things that happened to them because they are a bad person. Trauma is not about what you experienced, but it is how it lives inside your body and mind after the scary events are long gone.

A lot of information about trauma refers to PTSD, which is typically a single incident of trauma. “BIG T” Traumas or PTSD means that you survived an experience that threatened your basic sense of safety, security, and stability like witnessing or directly experiencing a scary event like a robbery, an assault, natural disaster, or automobile crash. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event, and avoidance of the place or people associated with the event.

Most people think of trauma or PTSD as something that war veterans experience. Trauma is a significant part of the human experience that most people and families experience in some way or another. Trauma is a fact of life very prevalent. It is estimated that 70% of adults have experienced a traumatic event. When you pull apart the signs, symptoms, and behaviors of trauma - you can begin to understand that what you are experiencing are typical normal human responses that show up after a scary experience.

What is Complex Trauma?

For people who have survived childhood trauma or who have been in an abusive relationship, there is not just one traumatic experience; there are often many difficult, life-threatening experiences that make their embodied memories even more complicated.

The term “complex trauma” refers to the insidious, ongoing, abusive dynamics that can happen in childhood, families, couples, the workplace, or society. It can include emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological abuse, or hateful actions driven by racism, sexism, transphobia, or homophobia.

Complex trauma means that you did not survive a single incident of trauma but that you were exposed to ongoing threatening dynamics that left you without control for months or years and that the trauma happened by the people that were supposed to love you, like a partner, a spouse, a parent, or caregiver. Complex trauma impacts your emotions, your sense of reality, how you feel about yourself, how you think about the people who hurt you, your relationships, and your meaning-making system.

5 Signs and Symptoms Complex Trauma (C-PTSD)

1. Trauma impacts your emotions.

Your emotions jerk you around a lot of the time. You feel emotionally overwhelmed, super irritable, and easily frustrated. There is a deep sadness that sits on your chest that just does not go away. You try to bury your anger deep down inside, or it comes exploding out all over your loved ones or sometimes even strangers.

2. Trauma impacts your sense of reality.

You might have no memories of the terrible things that happened to you. Or maybe very fuzzy ones that you worry you are making up or exaggerating.

You may think that what you experienced is not nearly as bad as what other people go through. So you judge yourself for having been so impacted. Other times, you feel as if you are right back in that traumatic hell once again reliving it. You may have periods where you feel like you are detached from your own mind or body, numb, or checked out. There may be periods from your past that you don't remember well or at all, or perhaps you have a hard time knowing when things happened in your life. All of this makes it difficult to concentrate at work, at school, and in other parts of your daily life.

3. Trauma impacts how you feel about yourself.

You feel like you are entirely different from other human beings. You feel like you don't know who you are or have lost your sense of self or even that you never had one. You may also have a lot of shame and guilt. You feel helpless to change your circumstances or manage your emotions. You feel like you don't have anything to offer others or the world.

4. Trauma impacts how you feel about the people who hurt you.

You are preoccupied with the relationship with the person who hurt you. You live in terror that this person can come and find you at any moment. You have revenge fantasies that you play out in your mind regularly. You hate this person, you never want to see them again, and yet you can't get them out of your head.

5. Trauma impacts your relationships.

You are unhappy in your relationships. You make a huge mess of the relationships you do have. You constantly find yourself in situations where people disappoint you, and you end up pushing them away. You isolate yourself and don't reach out to other people; and you spend a lot of time alone, wishing that it wasn’t the case. It is so hard to trust other people.

6. Trauma impacts your meaning-making system.

Your meaning-making system is the mental process that assigns meanings to different things in your life. You may feel a lack of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair. You have wondered what the point of it all is. You may have even thought about ending your life. Perhaps you even tell yourself that what you experienced was your fault, or that you deserved it because you were a bad kid or a bad partner.

Effective Treatments for PTSD and C-PTSD

The good news is that we now know more than ever about the neurobiology and neuroscience of trauma and how it impacts the mind, brain, and body. And the even better news is that several useful and effective modalities treat trauma. Being a survivor of trauma or complex trauma does not mean that you are doomed to suffer.

The trauma treatments that are highly effective are EMDR and Attachment-Focused EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Generative Somatics, Brainspotting, and Internal Families Systems.

And we know that step-by-step protocols aren’t sufficient to heal people. People help to heal people. At the cornerstone of any good trauma treatment is having a highly attuned relational psychotherapist to develop a strong, trusting relationship with that can help unlock your own internal healing wisdom. Just like when you get a wound and you clean it and care for it, and then your body heals itself. This is also true for emotional and psychological trauma when it is tended to with compassion, care, and the right treatment interventions – it can heal. Trauma not only heals but it can also become a source of strength, resilience, and transformation.

If you are looking for a therapist in Asheville, NC, please feel free to call me at (828) 484-4992 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. My services are radically inclusive and I welcome folks of all genders, sexual orientations, lifestyles, cultures, faiths, races, abilities, and sizes. I am available to hear about what you’re experiencing and to talk with you to see if my approach is a good fit for your needs. If not, I will be glad to help direct you to referrals to other therapists. You can read more about how I can help here.

What No One Tells You About Trauma